Trusting the Author

Cheryl Limmer, who attends Hamilton City Corps (church), shares what motherhood looks like for her as a mum of four, and reflects on the kindness of God in the joys and hardships.

My parents were Salvation Army officers until I was two, and then we moved to Hastings, where I spent most of my childhood. My mum’s deep, anchored faith had a big impact on me.

When I was eight years old, I gave my life to the Lord at Congress in the Wellington Town Hall. At the time, I did not fully understand how significant that decision would be. As I grew older, life changed and circumstances shifted. I had a choice: stand firm in Christ or try to do life on my own. I chose to keep Christ at the centre of all I do, because I knew I could not do life without Him.

At 21, I moved to Auckland. In June 1994, I married my husband Murray, and together we had two amazing daughters, Steph and Olivia. Motherhood did not turn out how I imagined. God had other plans! Murray was unable to work full-time, so I became the main income earner while still trying to be fully present as a mum and run our home.

When Steph was four and Olivia was two, my life changed in an instant when I was diagnosed with bowel cancer and went through six months of chemotherapy. My biggest fear was for my girls, constantly wondering what would happen to them if I did not make it. God carried us through that season, though it was one of many times life did not go the way I expected.

Many years later, when our girls were becoming independent, Murray and I thought we might finally have a bit of time to ourselves … but God clearly has a sense of humour because in 2018 we became parents overnight to Savannah (3) and Yasmine (6 months). Just like that, we became a family of six, not something I was planning at the age of 52!

We entered a completely different world, with agencies and systems guiding how we parented. We had to fight for these girls in ways we had not experienced before, while also helping them work through their challenges. At the heart of it, they just needed to be loved and protected.

I have learned that when God places something at your feet, there is a reason for it. He does not walk away and leave you to manage it on your own.

In January 2022, life changed again in an instant. God took my husband Murray home to Heaven. In the blink of an eye, I became a widow and a solo mum to four girls. I remember wondering what God was thinking.

I had to keep going and make life as normal as possible for the girls, even while grieving. My heart was breaking, not just for me, but for all of us. All four of our girls were grieving, each trying to make sense of what had happened and how this would affect their lives.

But just as God does not leave you when He calls you into something, He also does not leave you when something is taken away. In the middle of the chaos and confusion, God was right there, carrying each one of us.

As a mum, I was walking an unfamiliar road with my girls, but we made it through those first six months together. Then another wave came. Around July and August, Steph and Olivia both moved out. Suddenly, I was facing a different kind of loss with my older girls leaving home.

It felt like everything that defined me was being stripped away. I was still a mum, but in such a different way. I did not know how I was going to do this, raising two young girls on my own while working full-time.

My faith was stretched to breaking point, but that is when God carried me.

Being a single mum is hard. It is lonely. There are no days off. When you are sick, you still have to get up, get the kids ready, take them to school and keep everything going, because there is no one else to do it.

Financially, it is a struggle. Practically, it is exhausting. Emotionally, it can feel overwhelming. But God has, and is, walking every step of the way with me, and He has never left me.

I am so blessed to be the mum of Steph and Olivia, and to see what God has called them into and the work He is doing in their lives. What God has done, and continues to do, in Savannah and Yasmine’s lives is nothing short of a miracle and reminds me again how faithful He is.

I am not a super mum. I do not have all the answers; I am just a mum who believes that every child is a gift from God and deserves the best start to life we can give them.

If I could encourage other single mums, or those caring for children who are not their own, I would say this: hang in there. The children you have been given need you. God has placed them in your care for a reason. Value them, believe in them, be present for them and love them unconditionally.

Not every fight belongs to us. Not every burden was meant for us to carry alone. When it gets too heavy, hand it back to God. He sees your heart and He knows your intentions.

Life is hard. It is not what I expected. But I hold on to this truth, that all things are possible through Christ who strengthens us.

Always remember: ‘God is still writing your story. Quit trying to steal the pen. Trust the Author.’